Liberty lattes — No kids allowed

Liberty’s free espresso for a week promotion should go in the books as the most successful 15th Ave marketing idea ever. Successful, at least, in terms of blog posts generated (look! here’s another one). The promo even convinced Seattlest back inside Liberty’s door despite the fact that she found the coffee “mediocre” and, gasp, Liberty only offered four flavors of syrup on her previous visit.

While we applaud the promo effort, we’re not sure it’s going to get the job done. Liberty, you’re up against some tough competition. When it comes to marketing, you need to pull out all the stops. We were going to suggest that you make your coffee free every day but after some calculations realized this was bad business. But we have a better idea inspired by true-life events!

Liberty, you are a bar. What is the defining characteristic of a bar in this part of Capitol Hill? It’s not that you serve liquor. We’re not suggesting Irish coffees though that’s a good idea, too. It’s not your happy hours. Or your stylish furnishings.

The defining characteristic that you should leverage in your effort to be a successful combatant in the 15th Ave coffee wars is this: bars do not allow children. Dogs, yes, kids, no. No kids allowed. That should be the slogan at the heart of your next latte promotion. Let’s see Victrola or Fuel try to match that.

–j

p.s. — Sorry you got turned away, little L. I know you’re not even 1 year old yet but the state of Washington has your best interests in mind, I assure you.

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5 thoughts on “Liberty lattes — No kids allowed

  1. you are so right. liberty should never ruin our glorious break from the rugrats. they should be banned, 100% all the time. don’t care how cool their parents are. if you want to bring your kids, go to vios, stay out of liberty. and the liberty people better enforce it!

  2. Capitol Hill needs more kid-free places. It’s disturbing how many little crotch droppings are popping up around 15th these days. I suggest Liberty give away free condoms with their coffee in an effort to make the whole hill kid-free.