CHS Capitol Hill Seattle, LLC recently filed a FOIA request for certain reports generated by my office’s paranormal investigative unit. I am complying with the request to produce the contents of these reports with some details redacted.

Case #21169 — XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX — XXXXX 15th Ave E — XX-XX-200X — Eyewitness reports second level contact with demonic spirit. Upon ordering latte, witness states that latte disappeared. Witness reports hearing laughter and feeling as if “someone was looking at me.” Measure #313a was executed. Latte was not recovered. Case is closed.

Case #23513 — XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX — XXXXXX 21st Ave. E — XX-XX-200X — Eyewitness reports first level contact with unknown spirit or ghost via baby monitor radio broadcast. Female eyewitness was sole adult in home. Male resident had left one hour previous to contact episode. Eyewitness reports hearing baby crying on monitor radio. After inspection of second-floor nursery, witness said baby was asleep with tears on cheeks and had been disturbed. Upon return to basement television room, eyewitness again heard baby crying. Witness said heard male voice saying “It’s ok baby. Go to sleep baby. It’s ok baby.” Witness heard baby stop crying and no further noises and assumed male resident was now in nursery. Hearing no further noises for another 10-20 mins, eyewitness checked nursery to find baby asleep but male resident not in home. Upon inspection, baby was now turned 180 degrees from previous placement. Eyewitness contacted local authorities. Case is open.

Case #24639 — XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX — XXXX Belmont Ave. E — XX-XX-200X — Chupacabra contact, third level. Multiple cat disappearances reported to local authorities. Local authorities documented typical specimen sign in area and contacted office. Measures standard #1292z and #5235 were immediately executed. Case is closed. Update: OPEN.

Case #27582 — XXXX Construction and Drill, Inc. — XXXXX Broadway — XX-XX-200X — Witnesses report second level contact with unknown demonic spirits. Daytime event. Witnesses on workcrew digging preliminary test holes for light rail project report hearing voices in holes and feeling wind gusts. Cross reference case #623. Update: Event location has been capped and contained. Closed.

Case #23221 — UNKNOWN — Louisa Boren Park — XX-XX-200X — Male witnesses aged 23 and 19 report first level contact with presence associated with cases #19766 and #19767. Witness 1 reports encountering unknown man walking and looking in bushes on trail below park. Witness 1 asked the man if he needed help but man did not respond. Witness 2 reports man spoke. “I want to go back to Denver.” Witness 1 and 2 report man then disappeared. Local authority unit patrolling park then encountered Witness 1 and 2 running on trail. Due to their condition and previous activity in the area, local authority immediately contacted our office.

Case #25277 — XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX — XXXXX Madison — XX-XX-200X — Local authorities report ongoing first level contact associated with route #43. OPEN.