CHS Crow | Kim, Brian & Zulu — ‘I’m pretty much a Seattle lifer’

This week — we apologize in advance — the crow talks to cat.

KIM, 33

Do you have a few minutes to talk to CHS this evening?
I can’t say no… I love the Capitol Hill Blog!

Aw, shucks! We love you, too, Kimi!Do you live on the Hill?
I do. I’m pretty much a Seattle lifer, but I’ve been in the neighborhood, off and on, since 2006.

What drew you to the area?
It’s just the best place to live. There are always people out and about. It’s…happy! Also, you can walk everywhere. You have the advantages of living in a city, but it still feels like a small town.

Do you have any favorite local haunts?
Hmmm. Here [Barca],Boom Noodle, The Lobby Bar, Wild Rose, Cupcake Royale. There are so many cool places in the area, it’s hard to name just a few.

What do you do for a living?
I’m a program manager; I work on the Eastside.

If you could change one thing about this area, what would it be?
That’s a tough one! There’s not much I would change. Maybe the traffic? The commute to and from the Eastside can be a bit of a pain. But that’s about it.

What do you think is the best-kept secret on the Hill?
I’d probably have to say the Hothouse. I keep forgetting it’s there—it’s tucked away behind a building, so it’s kind of off the beaten path.

Oh, right—the women-only spa! I love that place. There’s no downside to being naked in a hot tub with a bunch of girlfriends. [Confidential to Straight Men: You’re welcome.]
Yeah, it’s especially great to go there in winter, when it’s freezing out.

What do you think is the sexiest spot on the Hill?
The gluten-free cupcakes at Cupcake Royale.

Those are some sexy cupcakes…
I agree! I’m allergic to gluten, but those cupcakes are amazing. You’d never know they were gluten-free.

BRIAN, “40-ish”

What are you up to this evening?
I’m working, just taking a break. I’m a bartender inside [at Vermillion].

Do you have any specialty drinks?
I like to make sweet drinks — what some people call “girl drinks.” I guess you could say my specialty is a pineapple mojito.

Those are dangerous, because you can’t taste the alcohol. On the upside, you get your daily supply of Vitamin C.
Exactly! I love drinks with a lot of fruit in them.

Are you a Seattle native?
No, but I’ve been here about 20 years. I’m originally from South Carolina.

What brought you to the area?
Originally? Love. That lasted a while… then, I kind of fell in love with the place.

Is there anything you miss about living in the South?
I miss the food. That’s about it.

Yeah, my mom’s from South Carolina—y’all have some good eatin’. Everything’s fried and/or has bacon in it.
Yep. You can’t go wrong with that.

Do you have any favorite hangouts on the Hill?
In addition to here? Madison Pub, the Chieftan, the Comet… Love the Comet.

Do you have any advice for someone just moving to the area?
It doesn’t rain nearly as much as they say.

You’re kidding, right? I think it rains more than they say.
We get less rain than in South Carolina, in terms of annual rainfall.

What do you think is the best-kept secret on the Hill?
Here! People know about the art gallery, but they don’t realize that we also have food and a full bar— it’s not just art and wine.

ZULU, 5

You’re a famous cat in these parts. Back in November, somebody posted a picture of you on CHS, in the “Found ” section. People lost their shit.
Someone “found” me? Yeah, and Columbus “found” the Americas. Hello? People were already there!

Where do you live?
Around. Here and there, you know.

I happen to know that you live on 17

^th Avenue East, between Denny and John. I won’t get more specific than that.
Please don’t. I don’t want people camping out outside my house. Also, there are some paternity suits…

I also know that you’re an exclusively outdoor cat, which has been the source of some controversy.
Nobody keeps Baby in a corner, yo.

So, what do you like best, and least, about living on the Hill?
Best– all the organic, free-range baby birds. I only eat organic, you know. Like least? The raccoons. They’re a bunch of a-holes.

Some people say that cats should be kept indoors—to avoid being mauled by raccoons, for one. And because cats eat the local birds.
What’s wrong with being a “locavore”? I thought everyone around here was into that? Besides. You eat birds.

This may not be the time or place to talk about it, but I thought you and I…I dunno. I thought we had something special. Whenever I’d stop and pet you, and you would hop up onto my lap or my shoulders. But now, every time I go outside, I see you hopping up onto someone else.
I feel like you’re trying to slut-shame me. That’s not cool.

That’s not true! I’m totally Cat Positive.
Look, I never said we were exclusive. I like you and everything, but I’m not a one-woman cat. What does that guy down the street call it? Oh, yeah. I’m “Monogamish.” But I love the way you give me cat food, baby. I like your cat food the best–no lyin’.

Have you been fixed?
That’s a very personal question. I’m not asking you about your methods of birth control, am I?

More CHS Crow:

Marguerite Kennedy is a freelance writer, semi-professional thumb wrestler, and recovering New Yorker who currently resides on Capitol Hill. She blogs at www.marguerite-aville.com, and does that other thing @tweetmarguerite.