Once again, CHS Capitol Hill Seattle, LLC has filed FOIA requests for certain reports generated by my office’s paranormal investigative unit. I am complying with the request to produce the contents of these reports with some details redacted.
Case 2012-9821w — XXXX 14th Ave. Subject, 45, suspects demonic forces to be at work at the site recorded. Noted smell of strange herb, presence of smoke with possible supernatural narcotic properties. Investigation revealed bakery operating at site. Case closed.
Case 2012-31213a — XXXXX Boylston Ave E – Subject, 35, reported that his ex-girlfriend, XXX, was practicing witchcraft and using “some kind of weird voodoo shit to make sure that he would be unable to date other women after their five-year relationship, which ended after he was found to be having an affair with a coworker. “XXX broke up with me. Then, a week later, the other girl broke it off, too. She said it was because I never told her I had a girlfriend. But I never said I didn’t, so that doesn’t even make sense. Nah, I know it’s XXX’s fault. All the girls I’ve asked out since we broke up? They all say I’m ‘a creep.’ Believe me, it’s NOT just because they’re in high school. It’s because they’re under a spell.” When asked for evidence of XXX’s sorcery, subject noted that “For one thing, she has a black cat.” He further noted, “If she’s not a witch, why the hell does she have so many scented candles?” Case open.
Case 2012-7363 — XXXX 19th Ave E. Subject, 18, reports level 3 contact near construction site. Interviews with staff on site produced evidence files #7363.2, #7363.6 and #7363.2. Each provided testimony supporting level 2 contact. Requesting a Rule 312.12 sealant cap be placed at site to prevent future contact cases.
Case #2012-2341 — XXXX 15th Ave E. Subject, 22, reported yet another ghost sighting at the site — a tavern. Here is a transcript of her call to the hotline: “I was at the bar with my friends on Tuesday night…it was, like, one in the morning, and there was this weird guy, like, sitting at the bar? I didn’t see his face—I’m guessing he didn’t have one. Anyway, I look away, and when I look back, like, ten minutes later? He’s GONE! Just…vanished. And then—get this— I put my drink down, and went to the bathroom? And when I came back, it was, like, six inches from where I left it. It HAD to have been the ghost. It really freaked me out.” Case closed pending further complaints.
Case #21012-4320s — XXX Broadway. Subject, 45, reports strange thumping noises at night, rhythmic in nature and increasing during the weekend. Subject reports not being able to sleep and having to turn television up several notches to enjoy programming. Case open.