It’s difficult to say which is potentially more damaging to the fabric of Capitol Hill society. The annual Seattle SantaCon celebration starting on Capitol Hill — or ending there. Whichever, watch your step for eggnog vomit and reindeer poop around Cal Anderson Saturday. And have fun.
!!! Seattle Santarchy 2012 !!! ( READ THE WHOLE DETAILS!!) http://SeattleSanta.org/
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HO Santa! I hope you’re getting ready, because the red menace descends on Seattle this December 15th to spread our special version of Holiday Cheer!
What is Santarchy? I’ll tell you what! Its Santa taking a break from making so many freakin’ toys. It’s a chance to squeeze some elves, drink something other than milk, eat something other than cookies… and make final determinations on who’s been Naughty and who’s been Nice.
This is well known but our little secret is sometimes its NICE TO BE NAUGHTY!Starting Location
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Cal Anderson ParkWhat to Wear / Bring
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1. The reindeer are still in a cuddle puddle back at the north pole so wear GOOD WALKING SHOES!!!!
1b. BRING CASH! SO PEOPLE AREN’T WAITING WHILE BARTENDERS RUN YOUR CARD
2. Ms. Claus… I don’t care how good you look in those heels… WEAR GOOD WALKING SHOES!!!
3. Donate gift cards to our Toy Drive!
4. Wear your Santa Suit… or other X-Mas related clothing. (A santa hat and regular clothes = no bueno)
5. Bring toys /games / music to entertain Santa
6. PG toys and wrapped and sealed candy for kids
7. Buttons, Badges and Stickers are always fun
8. Sometimes there is a long line for a drink, and there is something that holds alcohol that you can carry with you … what was that called again?The Route:
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This won’t show up until the day before… so don’t ask! Or ask, and then prepare to be mocked.Is this just another Pub Crawl?
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Hell no. This is SANTA! Are you prepared? You can hand out toys, candy canes, Naughty & Nice stickers, You can make signs, carry megaphone for portable music. You are here to spread Christmas Cheer… so don’t be the douche with a corona T-Shirt and a Santa Hat. These are just a few things that separate Santa from Pub Crawls… make up your own. You’re MotherFuckingSanta for fucks sake.Speaking of for fucks….
The FOUR FUCKS OF SANTACON (or Santarchy)
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1. Santa does not fuck with KIDS
Kids think Santa is really neat and we want to keep it that way. We are bad Santas not creepy Santas. Kids do not get adult toys, or booze, or messed with in any way. You can give kids regular toys and candy canes if their parents permit. If you are drunk off your ass, your best bet is to steer clear of children entirely.2. Santa does not fuck with the POLICE
Do not mouth off to cops. Do as they ask. You really don’t want to end up in the back of a squad car when your friends are having fun.3. Santa does not fuck with SECURITY
Security people call cops. Note I’m not saying don’t do stuff security won’t like, I’m just saying that you should listen to them and walk off their premisis if asked, and then let them move on to the next 300 santas.4. Santa does not fuck with SANTA
For this fuck consent makes ALL the difference. Heh but all kidding aside we fuck with each other in fun ways, with consent all the time. Stuff that makes Santa mad… don’t do it. If you get Santa mad unintentionally, be apologetic and explain that you didn’t mean to offend them and wont do it again (and then DONT do it again!). Then offer to buy them a drink. That often solves many Santa vs. Santa problems. Remember… we’re here to have fun!Thanks for reading this far! You should feel special. I took all the time to write this, I for one am glad you are reading it. This is a bonding moment. Cyber-hug! Awwww. Ok you can stop now. Don’t give creepy cyber-hugs!
Got a Megaphone? We need you!
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Anyone who wishes to help in the festivities… Join the new Seattle Santarchy facebook group. (linked above)Keep watching this event page and checking it twice. Cause this Santa know none of yous fucks have been nice.
(Image: CHS)
(Image: CHS)
