If the Sugar Plum Faeries aren’t already dancing in your head, they will be by sometime around 9 PM Saturday night. That’s when the itineraries for two separate but possibly complementary celebrations of holiday spirit and spirits will converge on Capitol Hill. Yes, it’s time — again — for Seattle Santacon and the Capitol Hill March of the Mistletomosexuals. Details on both are below. The long-running Santarchy debauchery oscillates from year to year between starting and ending on the Hill. In 2012, the mob got off to a soggy start in Cal Anderson. In 2011, the last time the event stumbled its way up for a Capitol Hill finale, it looked like this. Meanwhile, the Mistletomosexuals will convene at CC’s around 9 before distributing their “more creative and definitely more flamboyant” decorated selves around the Hill’s various gay, etc.-friendly bars and clubs before rallying at the Cuff around midnight.
Details on the whole big messy candy cane of fun, below.
Seattle Santarchy 2013
Hey Santa! Guess what time of year it is, Santa! The red menace descends on Seattle this December 21st! Well over one thousand of us will be parading through Pioneer Square, Downtown, and Cap Hill! This event is free – Santa doesn’t pay a cover!
READ THE WHOLE DETAILS! KEEP READING! SANTA! READ!
Santarchy is an annual mass gathering of people dressed in Santa Claus costumes parading publicly on streets and in bars in cities around the world. The focus is on spontaneity and creativity, while having a good time and spreading cheer and goodwill.
Santa Volunteer Meeting is Monday Dec 16th. https://www.facebook.com/events/202411553278349/
The FOUR FUCKS OF SANTARCHY
1. Santa does not fuck with kids
2. Santa does not fuck with police
3. Santa does not fuck with bar staff
4. Santa does not fuck with Santa
1. My name is Santa. Your name is Santa. We are Santa. Who’s in charge here? Santa!
2. Santa will bring cash and tip. No cards! No complex orders! Lines will be long, so keep it quick and simple.
3. Wear a Santa suit! Or be an elf! Or reindeer! Get in the holiday spirit. Wearing just a Santa hat with regular clothes is meh.
4. Wear good walking shoes. Santa is covering lots of ground.
5. This is a participatory event. Do not expect us to entertain you, though we will. Bring something Santa will enjoy: candy, toys, games, stickers, buttons, signs, or a kickass costume.
6. Expect lines. Santa will deal with it, find another spot nearby, or bring an alternate means of drinking… keeping in mind the establishments won’t approve.
7. Pace yourself. Know your limits, noob. Santa doesn’t drink and drive.
Santa traditionally releases the full route last minute. Keep checking back here as Santa leaks more info. Nothing is final until just before the event!
12PM: Around Pioneer Square
4PM: Around Downtown
8PM: Start heading up into Cap Hill
12AM: Final stop
2AM: Goodnight Santa!
The Third Annual March of the Mistletomosexuals!
It’s Seattle’s gay version of Santarchy/Santacon. It’s a Santa-themed bar crawl, with awesome costumes, Santas, misfit toys, and more FUN than you can shake a candy cane at!
Here’s a brief lowdown on the ho-ho-hoedown:
A general schedule:
The plan is to begin massing around 9:00 pm at CC Attle’s. CC’s is big enough to hold most, if not all of us. From there, we’ll begin our march on Broadway to the Pike-Pine corridor around 10 pm. Hopefully, most of us can fit in the Lobby Bar. The overflow can wander up the Hill to patronize Diesel, Madison Pub, Purr, and Pony; these are small establishments, so feel free to pick one. The goal is to meet back up again at the Cuff around midnight. Many may choose to hang out at the Cuff for the rest of the night, with others rolling down the hill to the Eagle, and maybe some wandering to the Baltic Room.
Some general RULES:
FIRST: Wear a costume. The “true” Santacon/Santarchy uniform is a Santa suit. The March of the Mistletomosexuals is “gay Santarchy,” so our group is naturally more creative and definitely more flamboyant. Wear lights, tinsel, and GLITTER! Be a reindeer, or an elf, if you want. Heck, be a Grinch, if you like. SIMPLY WEARING A SANTA HAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE (unless you’re otherwise nearly naked.) Not wearing a full costume is lame and we will NOT let you play our reindeer games.
SECOND: Yes, it’s “Santarchy,” but we are by no means anarchists. Please behave responsibly.
1. BRING YOUR I.D. You will not be allowed in a bar without proper identification.
2. Santa is not cheap. You WILL PAY any bar cover charges and you WILL NOT complain.
3. You will be courteous to the public. Feel free to bring candy to give to people you meet on the street. No drunken disorderliness, please.
4. At any location, we’ll linger just long enough for one quick drink. Stay with your group when they shove off to another welcoming watering ho-ho-hole.
5. If a bar is too crowded, go with a group to another one.
6. Bring enough cash to take a cab home.
THIRD: It’s sad to need to mention this last bit, but due to recent incidents on the Hill, PLEASE do not get tipsy and walk around alone. Stay in a group. When the night is over, don’t walk back to your car or home alone. (If you’re tipsy, call a cab.) Everyone’s goal is to get home safe, alone, or with one or more Santas!
FOURTH: Be outgoing. Have FUN. SING! CHANT! CHEER! Get yourself on the naughty list (in a good way.)