After bikini barista ladies failed to catch on, Dreamboyz Espresso now pulling shots on Broadway

(Image: Dreamboyz Espresso)

The ladybug red and spots are gone. The ladies are gone, too. Starting Friday the 13th, Broadway’s only drive-thru bikini coffee shack is stuffed with men.

“We tried to do the bikini thing but unfortunately it just didn’t work,” a representative for the Ladybug Espresso bikini barista chain tells CHS, “even though there wasn’t any competition in a direct radius.”

 

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So, it’s time to bring on the boys. Dreamboyz Espresso debuted Friday with shirtless dudes pouring lattes and offering sneak peeks from the 80-square-foot coffee shack in the parking lot at Broadway and Harrison. There’s not a lot of room in there. That must be why the new coffee dudes are wearing so little.

Ladybug Espresso, the Puget Sound region chain of 30-something bikini espresso stands, expanded to Capitol Hill in 2018 but the company’s business recipe of pretty women serving caffeinated beverages didn’t take off on Broadway.

The change in business plan recalls a legendary — and short-lived — Capitol Hill venture. In spring of 2010, Barista Boyz did its thing at 12th and Madison for a few months before shuttering.

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40 thoughts on “After bikini barista ladies failed to catch on, Dreamboyz Espresso now pulling shots on Broadway

  1. I want to participate in the witty banter of the comments section.

    They should put donuts on their penises and I hope they ejaculate semen out of their penises into my coffee.

    • I hope they ejaculate semen out of their penises into your coffee too! You seem like the kind of witty and humorous person that really deserves that personalized service.

      • I like your name. Does “Phil Hizmouth” mean “fill his mouth” with penises that ejaculate semen and penises with donuts on them because the donuts have holes similar to vagina and/or anus holes? If so that is yet another humorous play on words. I like the “z” in “Hizmouth”, the letter “z” is always a fun alternative to “s”.

    • Actually, Phil is short for “Phillip”, and Hizmouth comes from my father’s side of the family. You are way too obsessed with penises and donuts, should probably get out more.

  2. We need a coffee place that reminds us of when we were kids. Mom in a ratty housecoat with curlers in her hair. Dad sitting there in his boxer shorts, scratching his tummy and complaining about politics. Think it would be great fun. Have old cartoons playing in the background, maybe a dog or two hanging about. Ok, Ok, Yes I’m in advertising and the ideas get a bit silly this time of the morning. Hope the coffee place does well. A lot of businesses on Capitol Hill seem to just go poof after about 6 months.

    • And for the ultimate in realism, use a Mr. Coffee! :)

      I doubt that semi-nude baristas, regardless of sex or gender, are ever going to be a big draw in Capitol Hill because residents here are simply too jaded to get excited about that kind of thing. They see people dressing for shock value every day of their lives. This kind of business often does well in suburban locations because in a more homogenous landscape it stands out as something different and a little bit daring. In the inner city it doesn’t.

      • So right. I live on Capitol Hill and there is a girl dressed as a harlequin skipping everywhere. A guy who tints his hair, beard and shoes to match his 3 piece suit in shades of green, purple and any other color you could imagine. The guys who visit the gym next to Trader Joe’s, their assless yoga pants are something to behold. So yeah, they need a better gimmick or maybe just really good coffee and pastry that doesn’t cost a month’s salary.

  3. Fail! Maybe if they were giving blow jobs with a cup of coffee it would work.

    Why go with a gimmick so stupid its laughable?

    Just look at the line at Espresso Vivace across the street. They don’t have to flash titties or push a basket to get business.

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