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The secret culture cabal ruling Capitol Hill

There is a secret cabal operating on Capitol Hill that sets trends, defines what is and is not acceptable and can make or break a local business. Its membership is exclusive and its procedural rules and methods are rigorously enforced. It is ruthless in its mission.

Worse, it is headquartered in a foreign land — one of the most clandestine, guarded areas of our city. Madrona.


Today, we will reveal this undercover operation, perhaps, for the first time. They call themselves Madrona Moms. They describe their mission thusly:

Madrona Moms is an informal, fun-loving community group. It was created in August of 2000 by a few moms who met at Madrona playfield with their little ones; their aim was “to make Madrona feel like a small town.” Through our wonderful email network of 1,600+ members, we help to support each other as parents, and as neighbors. If you are a parent who wants to be involved, contact us!

Due to the many requests for membership, we need to accept members who reside in Madrona, and our immediate surrounding communities, only.

The modest description belies their power and influence:

  • Madrona Moms decides which high-chair-powered restaurants succeed or fail.
  • Some Madrona Moms are dads.
  • It suggests plumbers and names names.
  • It lets you know when your car seat is expired.
  • It is uncompromising in its enforcement of rules and assaults members who stray with missives such as “This is off topic” or “This is supposed to be about parenting” or “I like when we talk about plumbers.”

It is ruthless. It is effective. And it is probably operating next door.

Consider this post a warning and a plea. If you know of Madrona Moms operations in your area, call authorities. If you yourself are a member, consider the damage these outside influences are doing to the Capitol Hill community. Rise up, neighbors, and push back lest we all become Madrona Moms.

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alaskalainen
alaskalainen
11 years ago

I find myself puzzled by the tone of this post…

Hill Bill
Hill Bill
11 years ago

Your post makes no sense. “High-chair-powered restaurants?” Homo say what? I’ve NEVER seen a high chair in a Capitol Hill restaurant, though I have seen a number of hipster papooses.

linder seattle
linder seattle
11 years ago

Hill Bill, you probably aren’t seeing the high chairs because the little tykes aren’t staying up & out for late-night happy hour. Try an early bird dinner (5pm) and the kids and the chairs will be a little more visible.

pffft
pffft
11 years ago

They have the power to slightly reduce muffin sales.

k
k
11 years ago

1. you won’t have to drive to Kent
2. your baby backpack or whatever is probably in good shape
3. powerful community incentive to be a good actor, because you’ll probably see the other person at kindergarden orientation

Suresh
Suresh
11 years ago

Don’t forget that Capitol Hill has its own parenting mailing list:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/capitolhillparenting/

Hill Bill
Hill Bill
11 years ago

You’re right–I work for a living and eat dinner around 6. I still see none of these high chairs at Capitol Hill restaurants–Quinn’s, Oddfellows, Kurrent, Bill’s, Crave (back in the day), 22 Doors, Table 219, 611 Supreme, Galerias, Martin’s, Elysian, Boom Noodle, Ezell’s, Catfish Corner, Barrio, Poppy, etc. And most serve until at least 9. And just about all of the above are busy at all times.

If families want to eat early, fine. And if they don’t, none of these Capitol Hill restaurants will be impacted.

So. WTF?

jseattle
jseattle
11 years ago

I’m very much looking forward to meeting you on a visit to Boom. Please stay alert for high chair-flung edamame puree. And, you’re right, Oddfellows does not (yet!) have high chairs. They do, however, have booster chairs.

Comrade Bunny
Comrade Bunny
11 years ago

Hee hee hee – high chair mafia. Thanks for giving us a hilarious heads up about a great community group next door.

dang
dang
11 years ago

Bill, look beyond the high-chair… think sar-chasm. Then read Bunny’s post.

larry
larry
11 years ago

What about those of us on the Capitol Hill Parents List?? Are you saying those M Moms have more going on than we do?? What’s that about? capitolhillparenting@yahoogroups

jseattle
jseattle
11 years ago

I’m saying people need to rally around you Capitol Hill parents — as ragtag and underarmed as you are — to fight back against the Madrona tyranny.