Bam Mendiola was 17 when he was disowned by his parents for being gay. As Mexican migrant farmers with traditional Catholic values, his parents “knew very little about what it meant to have a gay son.”

“I spent a lot of time at the dinner table with my family and that stopped the day I came out,” he said. “It wasn’t until then I realized how much I missed that time.”

Mendiola, 24, is now working to ensure other gay youth have a seat at the table. Plus One is a new queer youth program sponsored by the Lifelong AIDS Alliance with Mendiola at the helm. It seeks to provide queer youth, ages 16-24, a safe space to meet other queer youth and discuss issues important to them.

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Dinner with Divas is Plus One’s first major effort – a free monthly dinner party to be held in three locations kicking off next month.

Dinner with Divas Capitol Hill: April 25, 7 p.m., at the loft inside the Life Long Aids Alliance, and every last Wednesday of the month.

Dinner with Divas North: April 24, 7 p.m., at the Greenwood Boys and Girls Club, and every last Tuesday of the month.

Dinner with Divas South: TBD

(RSVP with Bam at [email protected] or (206) 957-1665)

Mendiola said he wants queer youth learn from one another’s experiences: “Most times when information is disseminated, it creates a lot of power dynamics that are disadvantageous to youth – we want to level the playing field.” Through a partnership with The NW Network, Plus One is offering $30 to the first person willing to share their story at each dinner party.

Mendiola admits reaching kids can be a problem, especially if they haven’t come out to their parents. Plus One is relying on social media and other community groups to spread the word.

Too often sex-ed just deals with the physical and not the “bio-psycho-social” of sex, says Mendiola. And physical-only often means abstinence-only. Thankfully, Plus One takes a harm-reduction approach to interacting with gay youth and seeks to promote discussion of all aspects of sexuality.  

Plus One kicked off in December, several months after Lifelong’s former youth program, MPowerment, shut down. In addition to sponsoring the dinner group, Plus One is conducting homeless youth outreach and plans to offer more services to queer youth in the future.

While dinner parties are reserved for queer youth, a central advisory board is open to all community members who want to get involved. Mendiola encouraged anyone interested to contact him directly, as well as any restaurants interested in catering a dinner.

Queer Youth Space – another youth-led, queer advocacy group on Capitol Hill – continues its search for a home for their new project, Three Wings. The queer youth center has been in the works since QYS landed a $100,000 grant in 2010. Seattle Gay News recently spoke to QYS officials:

“We are very excited to be moving on a space in the heart of Capitol Hill, and we want to share our excitement with the community. That being said, this is a delicate process with many moving parts. Until the lease is signed and final contracts are in place, we are not planning to release the address publicly.”

To answer their critics about the time it has taken for QYS to move into a physical space, QYS officials remind, ‘These things take time.’

For Plus One, Mendiola appears to have the ideal background to lead Lifelong’s new effort. He’s been through the gauntlet of coming out to a conservative family, living on his own, putting himself through college. He says those experiences have informed and inspired his work at Lifelong.

“Many queer youth don’t feel like they have a narrative worth sharing with others,” he said. “We want to give them a voice in the community.”

Mendiola’s narrative, like the youth he hopes to inspire, began with hardship at an unfairly young age. But despite the troubles at home, he continues to take motivation and strength from that upbringing.

“Growing up as a child of Mexican immigrants, you carry the burden of the American dream. I knew how much I had based on how little my parents had. I saw the sacrifices my parents made so I knew I had to do something big. I couldn’t be average. I couldn’t have an average life.”

You can learn more at http://www.facebook.com/plus1youth

Cal Anderson Mural Dedication Reminder

(Image: CHS)

The dedication ceremony for a mural honoring Washington’s first openly gay state senator will be held this Saturday, March 24th:

Please join us for the Cal Anderson Portrait Dedication

STart (Sound Transit’s art program) commissioned  artist Kelly Lyles to honor Cal Anderson.

Help us dedicate this new portrait commemorating his legacy.

When: Saturday March 24, 2012 at 11 a.m.

Accompaniment by Rainbow City Marching Band: 
Rainbow City Brass Quintet

Where: Cal Anderson Park, 10th Ave E & East Denny

Future site of the Capitol Hill Link light rail station, red construction wall

Cal Anderson

Cal Anderson was a trailblazer. He was an activist, a decorated Vietnam War combat veteran, a Washington State Senator and a friend. He was also Washington state’s first openly gay legislator.

Cal fought tirelessly and without fanfare for campaign finance reform, easier voter registration, open access to government documents and gay rights legislation. He called himself “a Democrat who happens to be gay,” and he made a difference in many lives.

Cal Anderson died Aug. 4, 1995, of illness related to AIDS. He was 47. On April 19, 2003, Cal Anderson Park was named and dedicated in his honor.