We’re back. Kind of. Flying home today. How was the vacation? 186th place is good enough. Thanks for allowing us a break and keeping things lively while we were away.
Back to business. This was a bit of a shocker, no?
First, let’s just clear up who really broke the story. Seattlest had its cutesy headline up early on Monday but did they beat CHS neighbor Kasa’s 10a post to the punch? Doubt it.
We have to admit that we didn’t see this coming at all. Good luck, indeed, Red Balloon Co. Sorry to say this to a new neighbor, but you’re not really going to be welcomed with open arms. See, we were naively expecting something that was a more logical fit into the neighborhood like a bigger book store or some kind of fancy pants boutique or a store that sells expensive yuppie-attracting cheese. So you’ll have to pardon our disappointment, Red Balloon folks. We’re sure you have a lot to offer 15th Ave. We’re eager to explore the wonders of balloons with you!
Still, we’re a bit disappointed. We assumed the biggest draw of a 15th Ave location would be foot traffic and proximity to the CHS consumer base. Turns out, we don’t know much about biz.
Here’s a preview of RB’s offerings from one of the Slog’s unwashed masses:
Just balloons? No, no! A veritable chinucopia of cheap crap awaits you at Red Balloon. If you have a flimsy-plastic deficiency, you’ll find all you need, in bulk! Grab some artificially flavored candies, some tasteless greeting cards, a box made out of crap, filled with smaller boxes of crap. Cheap!
Expect bloated goody bags at all neighborhood parties. Your kids are thrilled.
What now? Meanwhile, neighbor pffft offers this warm welcome to Red Balloon:
i am so bummed about this. what a useless retail concept. what a waste of space. can we organize a picket, a protest, a boycott, something?
We sympathize with pffft but here’s the deal. This IS a viable business. They’ve been making a living off of balloons since 19 fricking 80.
Pffft’s hearffft is in the right place — just needs to aim the vitriol a little higher. Turns out, selling balloon bouquets is one of the useful brick and mortar retail concepts not dominated by a national chain. Get pissed at Trader Joe’s, not the balloon dudes. When the RB Co. opens up this fall, we won’t be boycotting but we will be missing Rainbow. Will we secretly hope that Red Balloon can’t afford to stay in the space? Probably. But, in the meantime, we’re glad we didn’t get stuck with yet another Rite Aid, a crappy mini-mart, or, god forbid, a Quizno’s.
While something else would fit in better, the mediocrity that is Red Balloon definitely fits in on 15th. The stores on 15th that don’t serve food and beverages have always been amazingly uninspired.
HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM HELIUM
You can already buy balloons at ShopRite and at the store in Group Health. What kind of freakish need is there to deliver endless balloon bouquets to dying relatives you haven’t seen in years? Come on.
Is there any way, I wonder, of starting a limit to the percentage of “chain” stores in one area? This is just a WRONG fit for the neighborhood. I can’t wait for them to fail.
I never argued that they’re not viable or successful. I just think they’re useless.
Because the fact is that Red Balloon is not a “neighborhood” type retailer. RB serves up their balloon crap across the world.
Our ‘hood is just a convenient base of operations for RB to take orders and deliver their crap around the region.
I can think of few things MORE USELESS than balloon decorations.
As others have said, it’s simply not a good fit for US. But RB doesn’t care – they don’t NEED us. And therein lies the problem.
I AM A POSTING DEMON. Roar?
Also, I agree with pffft. What’s most depressing about this is that they will probably stick around. They aren’t dependent on neighborhood traffic, and god knows there are enough idiots in this city who’ll buy their damn dirty balloons.
I have deflated disappointment too. Do I need a helium balloon dealer within convenient walking distance? Not really. But we might “need” a strong business to help anchor 15th Ave. I’d like to think we could have both — something with high utility (or high perception of utility at least) and a strong business. But for some reason, we got Red Balloon. BTW, I won’t get so darwinian on this to justify Walgreens with same argument though I’m guessing some could and probably did when it moved into the hood. RB might end up being a really good neighbor — there’s still plenty of spaces for more interesting and more successful ventures in the neighborhood.
I was hoping it would be a music venue. Why are there no decent-sized music venues on 15th? Now don’t get me wrong, I love the Hopvine more than life itself, but we need a stage up here on this street. A stage with a sound board and a few lights. Right?
My daughter asked, with fear, if the balloons are from China. I said, “probably.” She asked if RB sells candy. I said, “probably.” She said, “Ooh. Then I like them.”