Not only are we big fat whiners about the Blue Angels, we hate the Seafair pirates too. It’s creepy when adults take make believe too far. We put them in same category as balloon twisting clowns in that there should be required licensing and successful issuance should be rare. Plus, they have those damn cannons that make us and babies cry. We’ll shiver your timbers you big loud bullies!

More palatable in concept, at least, are Seattle’s Madison pirates. These pirates drink expensive rum, wear plastic jewelry and get giggly. They often pilot Subaru Foresters and have very friendly dogs. They have also been known to engage in spontaneous volleyball matches. The BottleNeck Lounge honors these pirates this Saturday with their Pirate Party. There are drink deals and prizes for pirates that show up in their work clothes. Everybody else pays $5 and walks the plank.