Just as Folklife celebrates the potential arrival of summer, Bumbershoot revels in the end of summer bliss. It is the last chance for Seattle’s own collective of crazies to sing and dance before retreating to their winter dwellings.

Although boasting an eclectic population, Seattle’s people are easily categorized at events such as these. I normally reject labels, however, festival patrons make it far too easy to judge.  The following have been randomly chosen from this city’s wide selection of summer fesitivites.

There are six groups of people who attend Folklife:

1. I have a washing machine and a shower that I don’t use because I’m a hippy.
2. I was actually a hippy, and this is what real tie-dye looks like you gutter punk.
3. Just because I own this doesn’t mean I should wear it.
4. I just took a pill from a guy I met at the fountain.
5. Thank God I’m normal, where’d all these freaks and weirdoes come from?
6. I’m the child of someone belonging to groups 1-5, I’m lost, and too young to be at a music festival.

 Then Summer Solstice comes along and six more groups join the collective:

1. My couch was out here at 3 a.m. don’t even think about taking my spot
2. Yes, those are my privates under all this paint. I’m free!!!!
3. I’m just trying to get to PCC and the gym.
4. I took the Burke-Gilman here, how do you like my spandex?
5. I’m so drunk, I’m having sex against the handrail.
6. My outfit could make a rainbow have a seizure.

 Just when you got bored the West Seattle Summer Fest drags out more crazies:

1. Oh, you must be from across the bridge
2. We are the new, cool Seattle
3. I’m so nice I will make you puke
4. If you don’t talk to your cat about catnip, who will?
5. I am at least 30, definitely a lesbian, and just moved here with my partner.
6. I’m only here for a few years before I move to Shoreline.

 And finally, just when you thought you had enough crazy, six more groups top off the collective at Bumbershoot:

1. My hat describes my personality, if not, you can read it on my t-shirt.
2. I don’t think anyone can tell I have liquor in my water bottle.
3. Find my friends, find my friends, find my friends, find my friends,
4. If the stage doesn’t have a beer garden, I won’t be visiting it.
5. I’m only here for the comedy, but I can’t get in.
6. I’m so glad this happens so my wife and I can get wasted once a year and relive the good ol’ days.

If you don’t find yourself in one of these groups, well, you are lying to yourself or you don’t get out much. Embrace the craziness! It’s what makes Seattle the diverse Emerald City that so many wish they understood.