“We live in the shelter of each other.”

Do we?

For more than three years I’ve watched a number of young ladies push aside looming prejudices, preconceptions, and fears as they reach out to a man fighting for his life against all the opportunistic maladies that accompany AIDS.
When they were first introduced to him their knowledge and experience of gay men was limited, and influenced, by teachings claiming gays were “intrinsically disordered.”
Their knowledge of HIV/AIDS was anecdotal at best.
These particular young ladies were fortunate enough to have parents that had not bought into the stereotypes. They had taught their girls that we all have value and should be loved for whom we really are, irrespective of how we are walking down the path of life.
With parental permission, and involvement, the girls made their first visit to a hospice that cares for those preparing for the final dance.

Upon meeting Tim they immediately recognized themselves in him. He was open, welcoming, generous and ready to offer any information the girls might be harboring behind reluctance or embarrassment.
He asked permission from the parents, who had accompanied the kids, if he could be himself with them. They were as taken as the kids with him, readily giving their blessings.

The first visit centered on conversations about school activities, hopes, dreams, grades, boys, sports, brothers and sisters, the upcoming holidays and a lot of other middle school relevant exchanges. Later one of the girls commented, “That they forgot he was a man, or way older than them, as they felt he was just like them and so easy to talk to about all their stuff.”

Future visits involved making decorations for Christmas, Hanukkah, Valentines, Thanksgiving and cards to other residents. Most of the time it was just sitting around sharing what was going on in the girls lives.
These were friends visiting a friend.
No focus on the disease, its causes or much about his medications and daily health challenges.
The girls knew what was going on but didn’t feel any need to dwell on what might be when they could create “the what is” instead.

The girls have moved on the high school with all the demands that creates. Visits have been fewer, though when I see or hear from them, he is always on their mind.

Recently one young lady spent a couple of weeks trying to coordinate her schedule, transportation and his schedule into a visit to the hospice. After some false starts and scheduling snafus she spent a few hours with Tim.

After the initial hugs he asked her to help him make some Christmas cards. He wanted her to make one for her father. He had supplied all the makings for multi colored glittery cards offering crayons, paper, glue and a bit of direction if he thought it needed-
Mainly he was interested in her transition to high school. He wanted to know all about her teachers, classes, boys, sports, plans for Christmas and anything else that came to mind. Sitting across the room I saw two old friends catching up and savoring every moment.
She is a special young person bumping into a very special man full of love.

Yes.

“We live in the shelter of each other.”

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah.